I looked at my own cervix.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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