Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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