perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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