wrigley field is MILF paradise
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
