He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
