You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
