It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
