I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize