Midget sex pt 2 tonight
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
