I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
