whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize