I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
