YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
