I heard we made out
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
