i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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