$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
