I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
People in love make me want to vomit
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
