So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
