i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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