when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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