I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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