THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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