I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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