new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
