Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
