So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
