Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
