i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
