hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize