I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
