The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
