why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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