You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
