i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
