i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
