So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
