I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
