ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
