So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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