Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
