I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize