i already hear my dad disowning me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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