Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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