no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
