i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
