so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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