Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize