? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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