my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
