who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
