Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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