dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize