thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
