know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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