she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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