thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
