She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize