He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
