You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
