Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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