Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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