I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
