oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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