and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
