Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
