This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
even my farts smell like vagina
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
