i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
