I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize