i just had sex bonerless
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
