The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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