Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
