I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
