well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
