"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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