STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I CAN MOONWALK!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
