I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
