Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
