Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
