Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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