dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize