Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
