There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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