Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
